Removing yourself from a toxic relationship can be one of the most difficult things you’ll ever do, but it doesn’t have to be impossible! With these seven steps, you can change your life and your relationship with both yourself and your significant other in order to start feeling better than ever before.
Step 1 – Tell Them
This can be hard because you don’t want to confront them but you need to let them know that the relationship is not working for you. Be clear about what it is about the relationship that you are unhappy with and how it makes you feel. Giving your partner a way out will show that you care about their well-being as well. You may never see this person again after this conversation, so choose your words carefully and make sure they are coming from a place of compassion. When you’re done talking, make sure to listen to what they have to say before making any decisions about the future of the relationship.
Step 2 – Give a Second Chance
It’s sometimes hard to see how bad the relationship is at the moment and even harder when there are children involved. You may feel like if you don’t give it another chance it will never work out. But, if you can’t look into your partner’s eyes and be confident that this is the best decision for both of you then it’s time to end things. If you have kids, make sure they know how much they mean to you and always put them first. Sometimes people need space or want to be left alone because they’re still grieving and need time. Don’t pressure them or try to force the relationship. Just give them love and understanding while maintaining a healthy distance.
Step 3 – Don’t Stalk Them
This can’t be repeated enough. No matter how robust your feelings are, you need to get off their social media and put your phone down. What you’re doing is only reaffirming that this person is still an important part of your life. The key for now, until you get over them, is not being in contact with them at all. Do whatever it takes to stay away from them. You may think that they’re going to come back and apologize, but the reality is if they don’t care about you then they won’t go out of their way to change anything.
Step 4 – Let Time Heal the Hurt
After ending the relationship, give yourself time to heal and for things to get better. It can take time for your emotions and thoughts about what happened during the relationship, or what could have been, to settle down. When you’re ready, be sure you create a safety plan before confronting the person who hurt you. The person may not admit that they are wrong and will use any means necessary to keep you in their life – even if it means manipulation, gaslighting, or abuse. Remember that what you need is not them; it’s an environment where you feel safe and loved. There are many different factors that contribute to toxic relationships, but one thing is clear: no one deserves to feel like this. And if you do want help with breaking out of this pattern, there are many resources available.
Step 5 – Get Support From Friends and Family
Don’t keep the details of your toxic relationship to yourself. Let your friends and family know what’s going on, so they can help you. They are the ones who care about you the most, and they want you to be happy again! They will encourage you when things get tough, and help gives you strength when it feels like there is no way out. A great place to start would be by telling them what you need them to do for you, such as calling or texting with words of encouragement during difficult times. They may also have some insight into what could have caused this behavior in the first place, or have suggestions for how to make things better in the future.
Step 6 – Love Yourself First
Staying in a toxic relationship is tough, but it’s more important to remember that you deserve better. When it’s time for the goodbye talk, one of the most important things you can do is show them your boundaries. Talk about how their actions have made you feel and what you need in order for this relationship to be healthy. As hard as it might be, remind yourself that you deserve love and affection too!
Step 7 – Cut off all Communication with Them
Cut off all communication. Block them on social media, email, phone, and so on. Delete any form of contact info if necessary and keep it that way for as long as you can. It will hurt like hell in the short term but you’ll feel much better in the long run. Remember this is your life and no one has the right to dictate how you live or what decisions you make. No one deserves your time, energy, or love when they don’t give back anything to you. You deserve more than what they’re giving and it’s okay to leave them behind with their toxicity. Let them be miserable while you take care of yourself and figure out what it means to be happy again.
Final Words
Ending a toxic relationship can be incredibly difficult because you are often letting go of more than just the other person. But if this relationship is truly toxic, it will only cause you misery in the long run. If you find yourself in this situation, try these seven steps and I’m sure you’ll find that ending the relationship is easier than you think.
