How to Control Relationships?

Relationships are great, but they’re not always easy to manage. Sometimes our loved ones may be acting irrationally, or they might be ignoring us, and we can have trouble getting them to listen to us in these situations. Here are some tips on how to control relationships—not by dominating people or forcing them to behave the way you want them to, but rather by communicating with them in ways that help them understand your position and become more amenable to your needs.

What are the factors?

There are a few factors that come into play when establishing a relationship. First and foremost, there needs to be physical attraction. As I’m sure you know, relationships usually have difficult moments, so it’s important that both people find the other physically appealing or they won’t enjoy being around them as much. Second, there has to be mental attraction.

Words have power:

Word choice can have a huge impact on how people feel about you. For example, if someone is struggling with their weight, the word fat will make them feel worse about themselves. Conversely, using words like skinny or thin in that situation would be more likely to make them feel better. Plus, not every conversation has to be one-sided.

 Think about how you can use words that will elicit a positive response, and look for opportunities to do so. If a person is struggling with work, for example, talk about what a great boss they have or how much fun they’re having at their job.

Observe Emotions:

Everyone wants a good relationship, but relationships can be tough! It can be hard to know how people are feeling, and what their intentions are. Observers give us a window into the unspoken thoughts of the person we’re trying to communicate with. By watching someone’s facial expressions and emotions (their nonverbal signals), we can gain insight into the way they think, feel, and respond – which makes it much easier for us to understand what is really going on beneath the surface of any given interaction.

Make your body language tell them what you want:

You want them to be able to see that you are sincerely interested in what they have to say, so turn your whole body towards them when they are talking. Mirror their posture and gestures; don’t just let one arm rest across the back of the couch. This will make it more difficult for them to interrupt or dominate the conversation, and make it easier for you to join in.

Listen more than you talk, as most people speak at around 100 words per minute. As you feel yourself wanting to jump in and say something, tell yourself that it is okay for now just to listen.

Most times when a couple is going through a rough patch, one or both of them will turn inward and become distant. If you notice that your partner has withdrawn from you sexually—if they used to initiate sex but no longer do—this could be an indicator that they are unhappy in some way.

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Use positive reinforcement:

Positive reinforcement is one of the most important factors in a successful relationship. It is not only an easy technique to learn, but it also provides many benefits that you cannot reap from other approaches.

Negative reinforcement can be looked at as a way of keeping your partner in line. However, this approach does not encourage closeness with your partner. Instead, it sets up a dynamic where you are constantly controlling your partner’s behavior through fear and manipulation.

Reduce contact where possible:

We can control relationships by reducing contact with the other person. We can do this by not returning their texts, e-mails, or phone calls. If they don’t contact us after a while we can send them one short email or text message saying that we’ve been thinking about them and would like to reconnect soon. They will likely respond quickly. They might even think that it’s just because of something happening in our life and be grateful for our reaching out. It is important to always keep contact brief, though, so that it doesn’t seem as if we’re just waiting for a response from them.

Understand nonverbal signals:

The nonverbal signals we use to convey a message are often under the radar, but they do have an impact on the way others see us. As we all know, our body language affects how people interpret and react to us. Here are some ways we can control relationships by being aware of our own and other’s nonverbal cues:

-Nonverbals that convey confidence: Nodding, leaning forward while listening attentively, looking at someone directly with warm eyes or a welcoming smile.

how to control relationships

Respond assertively, rather than aggressively:

It’s important to know the difference between being assertive and being aggressive. Assertiveness is a sign of empowerment, while aggression is a sign of feeling threatened or challenged. Here are some examples:

– I’d like you to put your phone away during dinner. This feels more like a request than an order. 

– You’re texting on your phone again. Can you please put it away? This feels more about keeping the peace instead of trying to control someone else’s behavior.

 – We don’t allow phones at our table. Can you please put yours away? This sounds more like a rule than a request or discussion.

Be honest, even if it hurts:

In today’s society, we use the term unrequited love as an excuse for when someone doesn’t feel the same way about us. The truth is, unrequited love simply means that you want something from someone else that they don’t want back. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always mean that there is something wrong with them but instead with you for not being able to control your feelings and understanding how relationships work.


Be observant and aware of the dynamics between you and the person you are trying to form a relationship with. Understanding their personality will allow you to better find out what is going on in their head and thereby what they might need from you. Pay attention to how they react when things don’t go their way, or when they start feeling uncomfortable, and decide how best to handle those scenarios.

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